Joke of the Day Archive

August 24, 2026 I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist. August 23, 2026 Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it. August 22, 2026 Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one. August 21, 2026 When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary. August 20, 2026 I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. August 19, 2026 What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. August 18, 2026 I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. August 17, 2026 My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean. August 16, 2026 What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine. August 15, 2026 Why was the math lecture so long? The professor kept going off on a tangent. August 14, 2026 I burnt 1500 calories yesterday. I left a cake in the oven for too long. August 13, 2026 I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. August 12, 2026 Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs. August 11, 2026 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y. August 10, 2026 What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. August 9, 2026 Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked. August 8, 2026 I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. August 7, 2026 What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison. August 6, 2026 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. August 5, 2026 Why was the math lecture so long? The professor kept going off on a tangent. August 4, 2026 What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison. August 3, 2026 A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't se... August 2, 2026 Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. August 1, 2026 Broken pencils are pointless. July 31, 2026 Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. July 30, 2026 My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home. July 29, 2026 Why did the coffee taste like mud? Because it was ground a minute ago. July 28, 2026 What's the easiest way to make a hotdog stand? Take away its chair. July 27, 2026 What's the easiest way to make a hotdog stand? Take away its chair. July 26, 2026 Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed. July 25, 2026 The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. July 24, 2026 I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. July 23, 2026 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. July 22, 2026 Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked. July 21, 2026 Why did the robber wash his clothes before leaving the bank? He wanted to make a clean get... July 20, 2026 I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. July 19, 2026 I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk Five Miles every day. July 18, 2026 My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. July 17, 2026 Did you hear about the book on glue? You can't put it down. July 16, 2026 How do you organize a space party? You planet. July 15, 2026 Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It's called wed... July 14, 2026 What's brown and sticky? A stick. July 13, 2026 Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one. July 12, 2026 Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them. July 11, 2026 Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. July 10, 2026 What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta. July 9, 2026 I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. July 8, 2026 I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them. July 7, 2026 The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. July 6, 2026 The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. July 5, 2026 I invented a new word: Plagiarism. July 4, 2026 What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. July 3, 2026 A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame. July 2, 2026 What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain. July 1, 2026 Which building in New York has the most stories? The public library. June 30, 2026 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger and larger. Then it hit me. June 29, 2026 I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. June 28, 2026 Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. June 27, 2026 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. June 26, 2026 My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.