Joke of the Day Archive

July 15, 2026 Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It's called wed... July 14, 2026 What's brown and sticky? A stick. July 13, 2026 Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one. July 12, 2026 Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them. July 11, 2026 Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. July 10, 2026 What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta. July 9, 2026 I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. July 8, 2026 I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them. July 7, 2026 The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. July 6, 2026 The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. July 5, 2026 I invented a new word: Plagiarism. July 4, 2026 What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. July 3, 2026 A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame. July 2, 2026 What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain. July 1, 2026 Which building in New York has the most stories? The public library. June 30, 2026 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger and larger. Then it hit me. June 29, 2026 I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. June 28, 2026 Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. June 27, 2026 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. June 26, 2026 My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away. June 25, 2026 Did you hear the one about the peach? It's pitiful. June 24, 2026 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. June 23, 2026 Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it. June 22, 2026 What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt. June 21, 2026 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. June 20, 2026 What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain. June 19, 2026 I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. June 18, 2026 Why did the cow go to space? To see the moooon. June 17, 2026 My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. June 16, 2026 I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. June 15, 2026 I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist. June 14, 2026 My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. June 13, 2026 Did you hear the one about the peach? It's pitiful. June 12, 2026 Did you hear the one about the peach? It's pitiful. June 11, 2026 I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. June 10, 2026 Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs. June 9, 2026 What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. June 8, 2026 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y. June 7, 2026 What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. June 6, 2026 I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. June 5, 2026 I invented a new word: Plagiarism. June 4, 2026 Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera. June 3, 2026 I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. June 2, 2026 What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory. June 1, 2026 What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. May 31, 2026 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger and larger. Then it hit me. May 30, 2026 What one word does everyone pronounce wrong? Wrong. May 29, 2026 Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish. May 28, 2026 What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. May 27, 2026 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. May 26, 2026 I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. May 25, 2026 I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said, "How flexible a... May 24, 2026 I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. May 23, 2026 My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away. May 22, 2026 What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time. May 21, 2026 A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't se... May 20, 2026 Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish. May 19, 2026 What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick. May 18, 2026 Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs. May 17, 2026 Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.